Sunday, May 22, 2016

the return

I am always longing.
What am I longing for?
Do I enjoy it?
Is it my uncomfortable comfort zone?

I am tired of it. I want to feel fulfilled, complete.

I spoke with a girl working at Urban Outfitters the other day. She was in such good spirits, so kind, exuding positive energy. I straight up asked her, how are you so happy? She said she had nothing to complain about. She said she liked her life. She looked about my age. She said she lived in Studio City and grew up in La Canada. That's the extent of my knowledge about her. Whenever I see people working retail I feel so tired. It seems exhausting, constantly on your feet, dealing with rude customers, working nights and weekends. But she didn't let it phase her, she attributed her happiness to her "outlook."

I've always felt, if I had such and such, I would happy. Or, if only I was more like this, I would be happy. Yada yada yada. I truly have so so much, it's almost disgusting. It's really true that money and possessions can't buy happiness. But how does one adopt such a positive "outlook"? There is so much pain and rejection in this world. I see it every day. I feel it every day.

Followers